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THE RULES OF RURAL SASKATCHEWAN ARE AS FOLLOWS
Listen up City Slickers!
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap straight, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Hwy
1 goes east and west, Hwy 39 & 11 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $365,000 combines and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in rural Saskatchewan waves. It's called 'being friendly ' . Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat meat and potatoes. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer hunting season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. There's little for 'vegetarians' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.20
12. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.
14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. SASKATCHEWAN Hockey League and Minor Hockey is as important here as the Calgary Flames and the Edmonton Oilers and more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
17.. Colleges? We have them all over. We have Universities and Community Colleges. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.
18 . Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. (Refer back to #1).
19 . 2 inches of snow & ice isn't a blizzard - it's a vacation. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day without going to town for coffee with your friends. The pickups with snow blades and tractors with snow blowers will have you out the next day.
Reason To Celebrate Saskatchewan
1. Thunderstorms! The best show on earth.
2. The easiest province in the country to draw.
3. Get your binoculars out! There are 427 documented species of birds in Saskatchewan.
4. Scotty, the T.rex skeleton discovered near Eastend. The remains are 65 million years old, and they grabbed the world's attention when they were unearthed.
5. Olympic gold medallist in women's hockey, Hayley Wickenheiser, is from Shaunavon. She's judged to be the best female hockey player in the world right now.
6. Lorna Crozier, the winner of the 1992 Governor General's Award for Poetry, was born in Swift Current.
7. Prince Albert is the only constituency in Canada that has ever been represented by three prime ministers (William Lyon Mackenzie King, John Diefenbaker and Sir Wilfrid Laurier).
8. Actor John Vernon (National Lampoon's Animal House, Wojeck and Dirty Harry) was born in Zehner.
9. You probably don't know this, but Saskatchewan is one of the few places in North American where you can see magnificent whooping cranes relatively up close.
10. 100,000 lakes and rivers (beat that, Minnesota).
11. Famed folk singer Joni Mitchell was raised in Saskatoon.
12. All RCMP in Canada are trained in Regina.
13. Regina's Wascana Centre is one of the largest urban parks in North America.
14. More doilies per capita than any other province.
15. The Saskatchewan Roughriders.
16. Saskatchewan Roughriders fans.
17. We have spaces between communities, not suburbs.
18. One of the best places to live in the world according to the United Nations Human Development Index.
19. A host of former hockey greats are from Saskatchewan -
Gordie Howe (Floral), Wendell Clark (Kelvington), Bryan Trottier (Val Marie), Johnny Bower (Prince Albert) and Eddie Shore (Fort Qu'Appelle) just to name a few. Other NHL notables include Doug Wickenheiser (Regina), Dirk Graham (Regina) and Theoren Fleury (Oxbow).
20. Two national parks and 23 provincial parks.
21. The first Ukrainian Governor General of Canada was from Saskatchewan (Ray Hnatyshyn).
22. The first female Governor General of Canada, Jeanne Sauvé, was from Prud'homme.
23. Author Guy Vanderhaeghe from Esterhazy (the 1996 recipient of the Governor General's Literary Award for his novel The Englishman's Boy).
24. The Regina Five - Ken Lochhead, Art McKay, Ron Bloore, Ted Godwin and Doug Morton - five painters who received international acclaim in the
1960s for their artistic and creative works.
25. People who can overcome drought, tornadoes, wind, minus 40 degree weather, earthquakes, grasshoppers, mosquitoes, BSE and anything nature can throw our way.
26. We're home to the Notre Dame Hounds in Wilcox who have produced such great hockey players as Brad Richards, Rod Brind' Amour, Curtis Joseph, Wendel Clark and Vincent Lecavalier.
27. The state-of-the-art First Nations University of Canada is in Regina.
28. Actor Leslie Nielsen, star of Airplane and Naked Gun, is from Regina.
His father was an RCMP officer and his brother, Erik, was a former Deputy Prime Minister of Canada.
29. We make great jellied salads, and we're okay with calling them "salads" even though there isn't one lick of lettuce in them.
30. Allan Fotheringham, the long-time smart and sardonic columnist for Maclean's, is originally from Hearne.
31. Actor Kiefer Sutherland is the grandson of one of our premiers (Tommy Douglas).
32. No hurricanes or volcanoes.
33. We can smell when it's going to rain. You can't do that in Toronto.
34. Where else can a whole generation of people recite every episode of The Flintstones? (Except for the first seven minutes of each one; we were still on our way home for lunch then.)
35. A low cost of living. We can afford homes in Saskatchewan that people in Vancouver, Victoria, Toronto and Montreal can only dream of owning.
36. Because of our strong agricultural community, we have a good sense of earth, land and where our food comes from. Whether you live on a farm, in a town or in a city, you know whether it's good that it rained or that it's sunny or that the frost is early or late.
37. If you get into car trouble on a highway or road, invariably someone stops to help you.
38. An array of First Nations cultures - Woodland Cree, Swampy Cree, Plains Cree, Saulteaux, Dene, Dakota, Nakota, Lakota, and the Métis - complete with rich cultural histories.
39. W.O. Mitchell, author of Who Has Seen the Wind?, was from Weyburn.
40. Dry cold.
41. Dry heat.
42. Author Sharon Butala from Nipawin. (Twice short-listed for the prestigious Governor General's Award.)
43. We're glad to report that renowned journalists Pamela Wallin, Keith Morrison and Eric Malling are all from Saskatchewan.
44. The first co-operative oil refinery in the world was built in Regina in 1934.
45. The idea that rang around the hemisphere: no one should ever die because they didn't have enough money to see a doctor
- our medicare system.
46. We don't have rush hours. We have rush minutes.
47. Wanuskewin Heritage Park - findings older than the Great Pyramids of Egypt make this area unique. Tipi rings, stone cairns, a medicine wheel and many more artifacts dating back more than 8,000 years.
48. The Big Muddy (near Big Beaver) in south central Saskatchewan was the only Canadian stop on the Outlaw Trail - a trail that ran from Canada to Mexico and was used by Butch Cassidy and his gang to elude them thar authorities.
49. The Qu'Appelle Valley.
50. A multitude of incredible festivals ranging from Dragon Boat Races and the Festival of Words to the Saskatoon Fringe Festival, the Regina Folk Festival and Ness Creek Music Festival (complete with bears).
51. Lake Manitou near Watrous, complete with legendary healing powers.
Plus it's almost three times saltier than the Dead Sea in Jordan, making it impossible for a person to sink. That's cool.
52. Saskatoon berries. Yum.
53. Saskatchewan is the site of North America's oldest bird sanctuary, established in 1887 at Last Mountain Lake. An important breeding ground for approximately 100 species, this area is used by over 280 species of birds during migration. From mid-August until the end of October, as breathtakingly more than 75,000 sandhill cranes and 400,000 geese use the lake as a stopover.
54. The farm mentality of "we can fix anything."
55. Saskatchewan is Canada's sunniest province.
56. Saskatchewan produces more than 54 per cent of the wheat grown in Canada.
57. A key part of Canadian history occurred in Saskatchewan -
the North West Rebellion of 1885, led by Louis Riel.
58. Saskatchewan has more road surface than any other province in Canada, with a total of 150,000 miles (250,000 km).
59. The first Girl Guide Cookies in Canada were baked and sold in Regina in
1927 by Christina Riepsamen. She started baking cookies in her home to raise money for camping equipment for her Girl Guide group. The cookies were sold in brown paper bags for 10 cents a dozen.
60. The first air ambulance service in North America (and the Commonwealth).
61. Internationally known singer/songwriter Buffy Sainte-Marie was born on the Piapot Reserve in the Qu'Appelle Valley.
62. The first Automated Banking Machine (ABM), or Automated Teller Machine (ATM), in North America was implemented in Saskatchewan. We debuted the first debit cards and debit card transaction in North America as well.
63. Comedian Brent Butt, star of the TV show Corner Gas, is from Tisdale.
64. In 1947, Saskatchewan passed the first general human rights act in North America. This was one year before the UN General Assembly passed its Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
65. No bugs in the winter.
66. Unique events - like the Wynyard Chicken Chariot Races and the Lumsden Duck Derby.
67. If you're shut in with a sick kid, people know somehow, and things show up on your doorstep - fresh bread, books to read, soup...and hundreds and hundreds of pounds of lasagna.
69. Cabbage rolls and perogies made by hand - and the hands belong to Baba.
70. Flat is great... flat is what you want when you're cycling for hours.
71. Drive half an hour out of town and take a walk.
72. The Hanson Buck - Milo Hanson of Biggar is a virtual celebrity in hunting circles. He holds the world record for a white tail deer:
its inside spread measures just over 27 inches, and six of the rack's
10 main points exceed 11 inches.
73. Saskatchewan's north - one of the last wild and beautiful places on the earth.
74. More writers than you can shake a stick at.
75. The colour of our summers - the exquisiteness of flax fields, the sunshine yellow of canola, the amber waves of wheat, all contrasted with rich, dark earth.
7. The smell of freshly cut hay.
77. Saskatchewan is a you-can-do-anything-you-want kind of place.
There is so much opportunity. Because we're friendly, helpful people, it's easy to make connections to get you started. You can break from your family tradition to do any career or start any business...and do well at it.
78. Canada's first heavy oil upgrader was built in Regina in
79. On any given weekend, you can hop in your car and then eat your way around Europe (French food in Gravelbourg, Thai in Moose Jaw, Dutch-Indonesian in Lumsden, Ukrainian in Yorkton, Ethiopian in Regina, Japanese in Saskatoon.).
80. Our whole arts community - the idea that a place needs more than an economy - it needs a soul - and artists are necessary to that.
81. People care.
82. Perch, trout, walleye. Need we say more?
83. Community. We show it over and over again - Saskatchewan people give more time and money to help others than anywhere else in Canada.
84. No tropical plants that eat people.
85. No tropical animals that eat people.
86. If you're a fisherman, Len Thompson, a farmer from Abernethy, invented the legendary "five of diamonds" or "red & white" fishing lures here.
87. The former Governor of the Bank of Canada - Canada's chief banker and monetary policy maker - Gordon Thiessen, grew up in a number of Saskatchewan towns and graduated from high school in Moosomin.
88. We boast our own fashions - Farm Eye for the City Guy -
jeans, a good shirt and a jean jacket, even in minus 40 degree weather.
89. Allan Sapp - the world-renowned, Plains-Cree artist and painter grew up on the Red Pheasant Indian Reserve.
90. Saskatchewan is "can-do-co-operative country." We know how to get the job done, together, to the best of our collective abilities.
91. Tell the Energizer Bunny to move over: from minus 40 to plus
40 degrees Celsius (with or without 30 kph winds) - Saskatchewan keeps going...and going...and going...
92. The fastest woman on ice is from Saskatoon: Olympic gold medallist/speedskater Catriona Le May Doan.
93. We can see all the stars at night.
94. The relentless, yet comforting sound of crickets, no matter where you are.
95. Olympic gold medallist and three-time world champion curler, Sandra Schmirler and her team from Regina.
96. The fact that people still wave hello on country roads -
whether they know you or not.
97. The northern lights.
98. Incredible sunsets.
99. Amazingly friendly people who always have coffee on.
100. Our big sky as far as the eye can see.
And # 101 the oldest books in Canada are housed at the museum in Wilcox, Father Athol Murray collected books and left them to the college.
Some or at least one of them was written before the development of paper on animal skin.